Ones own intellectual enrichment and acquiring skills in practical management—
This paragraph by Charaka gave me 2 apt words to refer to my dilemmas.

What’s the use of putting all my soul into knowing things if I dont try to apply them?
Knowledge is meant to be applied.

As one gets to know new things, he can deal better with the practical situations. In my case it amounts to dealing with pain, and at times life. And as he keeps dealing with practical situations, he finds voids in his intellectual arena, and works to fill up the voids. And that keeps him ascending the spiral. This IS how it is supposed to be.

But that is not going on here. People read for the sake of exams—- just get things by heart, spit in the exams and forget them later. No one understands what they are reading, and even if they understand, they cant answer what’s and why’s about what they claim to understand. They dont realize the beauty in what they read, but still they do wonderful in their tasks!!

And for them, practical aspect is something different from theory, how–I dont know. They say some things are only for theory, and in practice, one just needs to know management lines and flowcharts in the books, drugs and dosages.

And I’m some one who struggles to keep in pace with the world which laughs when I dont speak in the exams.
But I’m sure it knows no better than me when it comes to real assessment of knowledge and skills

But the question is Am I what I think I am?

Something caught my attention when I was turning the pages of my diary yesterday…(It was written in those early days when I resolved to become a doctor..)—-

“I will be the best doctor ever existed”

I couldn’t help laughing at my childish ramblings. :-)

Dont understand what I really meant by ‘best’..Best in terms of what??— Efficiency? Income? Fame? or a combination??
Obvious that it was a resolution to ‘achieve’ something. Being efficient—Is it an achievement?
My goodness!!
Efficiency is not an achievement, it is a necessity.
Being efficient is not an additional but an essential qualification.  

Doctor is one who is consulted incase of an ill-health for medical advice, treatment and relief. If he cannot be of any help in such situations, whats the fun of calling him a doctor?!!