Ones own intellectual enrichment and acquiring skills in practical management—
This paragraph by Charaka gave me 2 apt words to refer to my dilemmas.

What’s the use of putting all my soul into knowing things if I dont try to apply them?
Knowledge is meant to be applied.

As one gets to know new things, he can deal better with the practical situations. In my case it amounts to dealing with pain, and at times life. And as he keeps dealing with practical situations, he finds voids in his intellectual arena, and works to fill up the voids. And that keeps him ascending the spiral. This IS how it is supposed to be.

But that is not going on here. People read for the sake of exams—- just get things by heart, spit in the exams and forget them later. No one understands what they are reading, and even if they understand, they cant answer what’s and why’s about what they claim to understand. They dont realize the beauty in what they read, but still they do wonderful in their tasks!!

And for them, practical aspect is something different from theory, how–I dont know. They say some things are only for theory, and in practice, one just needs to know management lines and flowcharts in the books, drugs and dosages.

And I’m some one who struggles to keep in pace with the world which laughs when I dont speak in the exams.
But I’m sure it knows no better than me when it comes to real assessment of knowledge and skills

But the question is Am I what I think I am?

Ha!

I forgot to post my marks!!

ENT : 66%
Ophthalmology : 66%
Community medicine : 61.5%

I dont know what to speak about them.
I expected something worse. I wasnt sure if I would be able to make them to 50%.
I know nothing. I’ve learnt nothing…
I’ve forgot the existance of a process called learning.

I’ve ceased to exist.
I’ve ceased to see find beauty in life.

This is its end

The END of IIyr examinations…

Pathology Microbiology Pharmacology and Forensic medicine…

It had just been a few months’ obligatory work…I dont think I have probed into atleast 0.00001% of what I need to know and that I have retained atleast 0.0000001% of what I probed into.
But the exams are over..and results will be out soon. I would get through the exam hopefully..and the next part of the course starts. Everything goes on…

Looking at some of the blunders(or wonders??):
PREFINAL EXAMINATION:
MICROBIOLOGY-VIVA

My examiner was asking me…
–How do you diagnose HIV infection?
er…. er…. …

–Have you ever heard about western blot??
yes sir..

–what will you detect in western blot–antigens or antibodies??
antigens, sir

–ANTIGENS???
… … ……

–What do you know about vaccines for polio?
killed vaccine..live attenuated vaccine… … … …

–Route of administration of sabins vaccine?
orally…

–is it given as gel or a tablet or a capsule?
… … …
_______________________________________________________________________________
FINAL EXAMINATION:
_________________
MICROBIOLOGY PAPER I
Qno.1 Prophylaxis of polio

My ans:

Local treatment: Soon after the dogbite, the wound is immediately washed with soap and water. Soap acts as an effective disinfectant. Anti rabies serum may be applied and infiltrated onto the wound…. … …
____________________________________________________________________________
MICROBIOLOGY PAPER II
Q. Different morphological forms of hemoflagellates.
My ans. Trichomonas vaginalis is consists of 4 polar flagellae….. …. …

_______________________________________________________________________________
PHARMACOLOGY VIVA:

–how do you treat hypoglycemia?
.. … … infuse gluose

–how much do you infuse?
… …. .. …

–What are the side effects of the inhaled steroids?
… … … …
________________________________________________________________________________
PATHOLOGY VIVA:
–what is microalbuminuria?
.. … …

–How do you differentiate between hematuria and hemoglobinuria?
… … …er… red cells …microscopically…(i was murmering)

–What did you say? I couldnt hear u???
… … …red cell casts …

–Red cell casts need not be present?!!
… …. …

_____________________________________________________________________________
MICROBIOLOGY VIVA:
–name some autoimmune diseases.
… … SLE..

–ok.. then…??
… … …rheumatic fever.. ..

–thats all?
… … …

–speak about lab diagnosis of filaria.
… … …

–what is the sample that you will take for diagnosis in lab?
… … …
_____________________________________________________________________________
FORENSIC MEDICINE VIVA:

–what incisions do you give to open the body during autopsy?(It was the body of a person died due to severe burns)
.. .. …. …. …

–How do you remove the brain?
… …incision is given on the scalp… from mastoid to mastoid…in coronal plane…

–fine. then??
scalp is reflected..anteriorly till superior orbital margin… …

–fine. And posteriorly till??
…till… … …

–Leave it. tell me what will you use to open the cranium?
… … …

–You use saw, right??
yes.. sir… …

–tell me, what did you use in your anatomy lab? Saw or anything else??
..saw..sir… …

–ok. what would you see after you open?
… er.. dura.. sir

–what do you use to cut it?
…er… scalpel…

–How can you do it with a scalpel? You’ld end up damaging the brain! you have to use a scissor. No??
…yes …sir…

________________________
–identify the spotter.
seeds of nux vomica..sir

–what does those seeds contain?
stychrine sir..

–poisoning by those seeds resembles which natural disease??
… .. .. ..

–what are the features of poisoning?
… …convulsions…sir…

–then tell me where you see convulsions?
… …. …

–You also use a vaccine to prevent the disease.. .. ..
… … …

–the disease usually follows a injury… … ..
… … .. ..tetanus.. sir
____________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________

Funny, is it not??
-Firstly, I dont know much of the subject. neither Anatomy, physiology, biochemistry..or..patho, pharma, micro and forensic…
-I am not clear and confident about what I know,(Not confident partly because I am not clear…and partly because I dont believe that I know it)
-I dont speak out what I know.
-I block my common sense when I sit before my examiner.

Finally I end up giving the worst possible performance…

Dont really know how to analyze this.. … …