Calm I may appear, but I always have lot of things going on inside..known only to me! Back in my childhood, I had very few friends(I need to open up before I could expect people to do the same!) but I couldn’t speak out everything with them..I have to consider their interests, right? Moreover,People respond to what I say… But, at that time, I wanted something that would just listen to me, speaks nothing in reply and lets me handle things by myself. Lifeless paper was the best choice..!!
I was BADLY in need of an outlet…when, suddenly, I took out a pen and a paper one day and starting writing down everything that comes to my mind!(I think I was 11 then). I still have with me that first record of my emotional jargon—my first diary(Now, there are very few pages in it…I faintly remember that I once tore off all its pages because it was filled with pain—-pain others had caused to me; and pain I caused to myself because I felt I was the cause of others pain. I wish I had preserved it, as the only memory of that childs fragility and innocence. Because its long since the child had come under the influence of the reality…and All the fragility started fading away…)
Since then, I was writing…about everything that comes to my mind. As time passed on, I became more and more social. I stopped being solitary..and seclusive. I started sharing opinions and experiences. I have got friends with whom I can share everything…
Even now, I write a great deal…I write on almost everything that touches me. I write about everything I feel.
My diary–
Its more about feelings than judgements..
Its more about issues than people..
Its a record…
of all my thoughts, dreams, desires,
course of action, mistakes,
failures, accomplishments-everything
Its an outlet…
for everything that pleases me
and everything that troubles me.
It is an evidence…
for my desire to evolve
and efforts I put.
It is a platform..
where I expose my innerself—
known ONLY to me
It is an aid…
to combat all sorrows
clearoff all dilemmas
and render my thoughts clear
It is a mirror…
that reflects my true self
and helps me mould myself
Now, I depend so much on it that I end up frustated if I dont spare time to reflect and record…!!
The real I... 
Aww, I think I had my first diary when I was 12, and also destroyed it. When I did I was so ashamed of everything, and now I wish I still had all those records.
I think writing keeps me sane, even if what comes out sounds a little bit insane sometimes.
i had many diaries, and i did that ripping up bit too, mostly because i hated that i sounded so childish and idiotic.
i wish i had kept them now.